:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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