windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
