just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
