any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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