I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
