I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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