i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just high enough for therapy.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
