Me. At least after what I've been through.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
