i think my mom watched the whole time
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
