Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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