Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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