So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
