been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
