We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
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