You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
