Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
4 words: hood of his car
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Randomize
