defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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