TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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