Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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