Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize