Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
