From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I am midnight drunk by noon
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
