He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
