yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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