The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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