i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
