So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
