halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize