belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
