i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
