Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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