**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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