Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
