If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
