Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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