if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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