you would pick up someone in the library
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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