life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
