come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
