i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I need to align my fucking chakras
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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