we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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