Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
