I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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