When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
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