Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
