i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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