Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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