Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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