you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
