Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
