so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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