The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
