he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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