I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
