So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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