Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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