i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
