You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
