Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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