Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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