dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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